I have the time of my life everyday, every second. I make the most of it. I have the best job(s) in the world, the most beautiful relationship with the most amazing person, and I have so much to create and enjoy.
One of my more recent favorite shows would have to be opening for the infamous Nitzer Ebb in my hometown of Portland last year. We had our buddy Eric Powell join us on stage as well, and it was an overall tight set, full of energy both from us all on stage and the crowd itself. It was fucking awesome.
Second favorite show was probably Das Bunker in Los Angeles this July on the Detox Tour. SO MUCH ENERGY, it was contagious and mind-blowing.
Outside the US, I loved playing Russia, especially Volgograd. That was an amazing show. Playing Infest in the UK was great too.
I do enjoy DIJ. Haven’t kept up on their newer releases, but I love, love, love But, What Ends When The Symbols Shatter? and Rose Clouds of Holocaust.
The typical things, such as: death, falling from heights, spiders, creepy-crawlies.
More personal things: failure, success, imperfection, rejection, loss, losing my hands, losing my ability to hear or see, losing the ability to taste, not being able to find any joy in life, becoming horribly depressed, or getting hit by a car/planecrash/etc.
I don’t think my perception has been off at all. In fact, what is cruel to someone may not be to someone else. Everyone is unique.
THAT being said, I grew up with wonderful parents, however, I was pushed into a school system where I was bullied for years, repeatedly harassed, assaulted, ridiculed, and ostracized not only by my peers but by my teachers. I was the "black sheep" so to speak. My interests, as a child in this climate, were mathematics and literature. I had my nose in a book most of the time, and I was also put into AP classes for the "smart kids". It wasn’t popular to be "smart", as many people would understand. It brought me more ridicule and bullshit to be the only other girl in AP! So I went through years of that.I was then homeschooled for part of my high-school years, which brought massive isolation and exclusion from any other people. By the time I reached the last two years of high school (public school again, so dreaded) I had no idea what other kids my age were like. And at that point I was dressing mostly in black, listening to Nick Cave, and smoking clove cigarettes. Total ostracization again. I got out of school and worked full time. Had a blast for a while, until I reached Seattle. The "club scene" in Seattle is unnecessarily harsh and nasty towards a young girl who is not only interested in music but is interested in writing music. I went through hell in Seattle with that crowd.
So, despite the years of taunting and bullying, I think I’ve done pretty well with my life. I still get bullshit, but that comes with the territory, and putting your name and face out there.
I sympathize GREATLY with those who have been bullied through their years. It’s emotional terrorism. It’s disgusting behavior from anyone that partakes.